No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
