There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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