I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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