No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
