I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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