i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
