My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
