some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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