U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
