i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I want to fling myself into the sun
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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