His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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