Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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