i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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