Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
