I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
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i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
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We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.