What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.