i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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