I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
