I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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