All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
