Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
