it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
