So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize