i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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