Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(209): View more from California

I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.

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(209): I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans. http://tfl.nu/8x3v

Replies (8) Good night (680) Bad night (1178)
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(917): View more from New York City

East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv

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(917): East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv http://tfl.nu/5gj0

Replies (19) Good night (1281) Bad night (497)
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(703): View more from Virginia

tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.

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(703): tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions. http://tfl.nu/m5qp

Replies (67) Good night (732) Bad night (5704)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.

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(704): i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand. http://tfl.nu/a9f5

Replies (10) Good night (4023) Bad night (964)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....

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(613): I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there.... http://tfl.nu/g27d

Replies (4) Good night (1747) Bad night (2567)
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(618): View more from Illinois

So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?

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(618): So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date? http://tfl.nu/zipl

Replies (3) Good night (1729) Bad night (1081)
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(817): View more from Texas

We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.

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(817): We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen. http://tfl.nu/j56a

Replies (8) Good night (2680) Bad night (789)
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(707): View more from California

I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.

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(707): I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched. http://tfl.nu/zef2

Replies (5) Good night (690) Bad night (1392)
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(330): View more from Ohio

White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.

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(330): White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux. http://tfl.nu/a54h

Replies (5) Good night (1864) Bad night (614)
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(303): View more from Colorado

No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.

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(303): No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to. http://tfl.nu/fzx1

Replies (4) Good night (1523) Bad night (908)
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(360): View more from Washington

Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.

(360): View more from Washington

It was me.

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(360): Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who. (360): It was me. http://tfl.nu/kgk9

Replies (3) Good night (2624) Bad night (428)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.

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(513): Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives. http://tfl.nu/voqg

Replies (12) Good night (3273) Bad night (780)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.

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(704): Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention. http://tfl.nu/qqdz

Replies (17) Good night (1631) Bad night (515)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?

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(417): Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA? http://tfl.nu/qvak

Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (204)
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(417): View more from Missouri

You went to a drug deal in a onesie.

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(417): You went to a drug deal in a onesie. http://tfl.nu/7cu7

Replies (1) Good night (315) Bad night (110)

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