Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  we're no longer friends

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  (603): i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube (1-603): we're no longer friends http://tfl.nu/kml0
  Replies (10) Good night (849) Bad night (2703)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  yes

  (703): View more from Virginia

  ... don't judge me

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  (703): i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing? (1-703): yes (703): ... don't judge me http://tfl.nu/twd6
  Replies (20) Good night (3970) Bad night (898)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  "must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.

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  (856): "must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls. http://tfl.nu/lfhc
  Replies (13) Good night (3392) Bad night (861)
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  (949): View more from California

  Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?

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  (949): Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk? http://tfl.nu/zd5j
  Replies (5) Good night (3347) Bad night (906)
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  (716): View more from New York

  If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.

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  (716): If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex. http://tfl.nu/vi35
  Replies (13) Good night (4277) Bad night (1088)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart

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  (406): she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart http://tfl.nu/bwi5
  Replies (9) Good night (1631) Bad night (3705)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl

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  (314): The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl http://tfl.nu/c78c
  Replies (6) Good night (944) Bad night (1473)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.

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  (705): I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard. http://tfl.nu/825y
  Replies (2) Good night (1090) Bad night (720)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom

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  (506): I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom http://tfl.nu/kne6
  Replies (14) Good night (545) Bad night (2359)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.

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  (407): I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'. http://tfl.nu/3npe
  Replies (2) Good night (1412) Bad night (732)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.

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  (501): I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary. http://tfl.nu/ro1x
  Replies (3) Good night (528) Bad night (770)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.

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  (208): Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up. http://tfl.nu/qoxa
  Replies (9) Good night (500) Bad night (1060)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.

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  (954): All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me. http://tfl.nu/3tzi
  Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (268)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.

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  (201): I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man. http://tfl.nu/58ag
  Replies (7) Good night (291) Bad night (875)
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  (408): View more from California

  I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.

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  (408): I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced. http://tfl.nu/i2rx
  Replies (2) Good night (871) Bad night (245)

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