Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.

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(503): View more from Oregon

i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!

(360): View more from Washington

let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.

(615): View more from Tennessee

That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right

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(720): View more from Colorado

There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(201): View more from New Jersey

A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".

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(860): View more from Connecticut

There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.

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(406): View more from Montana

I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.

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(631): View more from New York

He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well

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