Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.