Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
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How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.