I can't breathe out the right side of my face
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
