I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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