were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
