Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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