I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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