I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
