Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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