So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
