i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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