I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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