Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
