I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
