So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
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I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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