We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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