yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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