that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
