I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
