Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
dude. I can hear the air.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
