Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
you never un-have a 4some
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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