i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
