return my video game
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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