I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
