who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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