then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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