I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Randomize
