After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
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We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
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smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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