every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
