just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
