I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
