some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
