i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
