I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
